Wow. I know the Holy Bible has everything -- tragedy, comedy, supernatural happenings -- but I didn't know that it could be quite so funny sometimes. I've been reading through Israel's history as written in the Bible, and have been going through the kings that ruled over both Israel and Judah. I just read through the part in 1 Kings 20-40 concerning how King Ahab of Israel had fallen away from GOD's statutes and had taken after his wife Jezebel's god Baal. GOD was really upset, to say the least, so he inspired a prophet, Elijah to give the people an ultimatum to get them back on track. GOD inspired him to present some reality programming to the masses in the form of 'My GOD Vs. Your god' (my own term of course). This is probably the most hilarious thing I've read in the Holy Bible thus far. So how did this all go down?
Let me give you a little summary in case you don't feel like reading the text (1 Kings 18: 20-40). First off, Elijah asked King Ahab to gather the people at a particular mountain, where there used to be a sacrificial altar to GOD (which was in ruins and had been replaced by one to Baal). King Ahab's wife Jezebel had made sure to have all the men of GOD executed (save a hundred which someone managed to help escape and hide), while she had hundreds of her own pagan prophets and priests doing all kinds of dirty in the kingdom. Elijah wanted and needed to set the record straight for the sake of the people.
So this is what Elijah proposed:
“I alone am left a prophet of the LORD; but Baal’s prophets are four hundred and fifty men. 23 Therefore let them give us two bulls; and let them choose one bull for themselves, cut it in pieces, and lay it on the wood, but put no fire under it; and I will prepare the other bull, and lay it on the wood, but put no fire under it. 24 Then you call on the name of your gods, and I will call on the name of the LORD; and the God who answers by fire, He is God.”
So the people said, yeah, that sounds like a good, fair way to see who's really boss. So Elijah let the priests of Baal go first. They set up the altar with the meat and get busy calling on their god...and they go at it ALL DAY. Did Baal answer?
And so it was, at noon, that Elijah mocked them and said, “Cry aloud, for he is a god; either he is meditating, or he is busy, or he is on a journey, or perhaps he is sleeping and must be awakened.” 28 So they cried aloud, and cut themselves, as was their custom, with knives and lances, until the blood gushed out on them. 29 And when midday was past, they prophesied until the time of the offering of the evening sacrifice. But there was no voice; no one answered, no one paid attention.
So after the Baals made a fool of themselves in front of the people, it was then Elijah's turn (finally!) to do the same and call on whom he worshiped. But since the old altar of the Lord had been destroyed, he had to do a makeshift one with stones. He then set up the wood and placed the meat on it. He then made a kind of barrier or trench around the altar, which he had people fill with buckets and buckets and buckets of water.
Elijah spoke two sentences to Whom he worshiped saying:
“LORD God of Abraham, Isaac, and Israel, let it be known this day that You are God in Israel and I am Your servant, and that I have done all these things at Your word. 37 Hear me, O LORD, hear me, that this people may know that You are the LORD God, and that You have turned their hearts back to You again.”
That's all Elijah said and did. There was no thrashing about for hours on end. He didn't spill his blood or make an ass of himself like the Baal priests did. So after he spoke, was the fire kindled?
38 Then the fire of the LORD fell and consumed the burnt sacrifice, and the wood and the stones and the dust, and it licked up the water that was in the trench.
Wow! Talk about showing who's boss! Not only was the fire kindled -- which was all Elijah proposed for the deciding factor -- but the fire consumed the meat, the wood, the stones, EVEN THE DUST!, and licked up all the water in the trench too. GOD was not playing around. ...Did the people repent?
Yes, of course. Who wouldn't? But, since I have a bit more to go through the rest of 1 Kings and 2 Kings, et al, I'm sure they and/or the kings mess up again. ...And GOD gives them another chance, and another, and another...(Sigh) Well, no more water; fire next time.
Oh, and yes, the Baal priests were executed. Straight up zero tolerance policy apparently.
Anyway, what do you think of this particular story? Am I alone in my amazement and amusement?
Got any notables from the Bible you'd like to share? -- Leave a comment!
Monday, January 7, 2008
What I'm Reading: My GOD Vs. Your god; Hilarity in the Bible
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment