Wow. I know the Holy Bible has everything -- tragedy, comedy, supernatural happenings -- but I didn't know that it could be quite so funny sometimes. I've been reading through Israel's history as written in the Bible, and have been going through the kings that ruled over both Israel and Judah. I just read through the part in 1 Kings 20-40 concerning how King Ahab of Israel had fallen away from GOD's statutes and had taken after his wife Jezebel's god Baal. GOD was really upset, to say the least, so he inspired a prophet, Elijah to give the people an ultimatum to get them back on track. GOD inspired him to present some reality programming to the masses in the form of 'My GOD Vs. Your god' (my own term of course). This is probably the most hilarious thing I've read in the Holy Bible thus far. So how did this all go down?
Let me give you a little summary in case you don't feel like reading the text (1 Kings 18: 20-40). First off, Elijah asked King Ahab to gather the people at a particular mountain, where there used to be a sacrificial altar to GOD (which was in ruins and had been replaced by one to Baal). King Ahab's wife Jezebel had made sure to have all the men of GOD executed (save a hundred which someone managed to help escape and hide), while she had hundreds of her own pagan prophets and priests doing all kinds of dirty in the kingdom. Elijah wanted and needed to set the record straight for the sake of the people.
So this is what Elijah proposed:
“I alone am left a prophet of the LORD; but Baal’s prophets are four hundred and fifty men. 23 Therefore let them give us two bulls; and let them choose one bull for themselves, cut it in pieces, and lay it on the wood, but put no fire under it; and I will prepare the other bull, and lay it on the wood, but put no fire under it. 24 Then you call on the name of your gods, and I will call on the name of the LORD; and the God who answers by fire, He is God.”
So the people said, yeah, that sounds like a good, fair way to see who's really boss. So Elijah let the priests of Baal go first. They set up the altar with the meat and get busy calling on their god...and they go at it ALL DAY. Did Baal answer?
And so it was, at noon, that Elijah mocked them and said, “Cry aloud, for he is a god; either he is meditating, or he is busy, or he is on a journey, or perhaps he is sleeping and must be awakened.” 28 So they cried aloud, and cut themselves, as was their custom, with knives and lances, until the blood gushed out on them. 29 And when midday was past, they prophesied until the time of the offering of the evening sacrifice. But there was no voice; no one answered, no one paid attention.
So after the Baals made a fool of themselves in front of the people, it was then Elijah's turn (finally!) to do the same and call on whom he worshiped. But since the old altar of the Lord had been destroyed, he had to do a makeshift one with stones. He then set up the wood and placed the meat on it. He then made a kind of barrier or trench around the altar, which he had people fill with buckets and buckets and buckets of water.
Elijah spoke two sentences to Whom he worshiped saying:
“LORD God of Abraham, Isaac, and Israel, let it be known this day that You are God in Israel and I am Your servant, and that I have done all these things at Your word. 37 Hear me, O LORD, hear me, that this people may know that You are the LORD God, and that You have turned their hearts back to You again.”
That's all Elijah said and did. There was no thrashing about for hours on end. He didn't spill his blood or make an ass of himself like the Baal priests did. So after he spoke, was the fire kindled?
38 Then the fire of the LORD fell and consumed the burnt sacrifice, and the wood and the stones and the dust, and it licked up the water that was in the trench.
Wow! Talk about showing who's boss! Not only was the fire kindled -- which was all Elijah proposed for the deciding factor -- but the fire consumed the meat, the wood, the stones, EVEN THE DUST!, and licked up all the water in the trench too. GOD was not playing around. ...Did the people repent?
Yes, of course. Who wouldn't? But, since I have a bit more to go through the rest of 1 Kings and 2 Kings, et al, I'm sure they and/or the kings mess up again. ...And GOD gives them another chance, and another, and another...(Sigh) Well, no more water; fire next time.
Oh, and yes, the Baal priests were executed. Straight up zero tolerance policy apparently.
Anyway, what do you think of this particular story? Am I alone in my amazement and amusement?
Got any notables from the Bible you'd like to share? -- Leave a comment!
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Monday, January 7, 2008
What I'm Reading: My GOD Vs. Your god; Hilarity in the Bible
Saturday, January 5, 2008
Bible Omits 17 Years of Jesus' Life - What's Up With That?
We've all wondered about why the Gospels give us a narrative of Jesus' life from before his conception till when he was about 12 or 13 years old and then suddenly skips to the beginning of his ministry (baptism) when he is about 30 or so. Yet, has it ever impeded your faith? I know it hasn't mine. Some like to believe that Jesus -- before he officially started his ministry in his own country, mind you -- was busy traveling to other parts of the world preaching the Truth. I guess that's a possibility, but that just doesn't make much sense to me. Why? Because of the simple fact that he didn't dare start preaching to his own people until he was baptized. Why would he go off to these Gentile nations FIRST, mind you, and give to them the blessings initially intended for GOD's chosen, the people of Israel? That doesn't make much sense. "The Bible devotes just seven words to the most formative years of Yeshua's life saying: 'The boy grew in wisdom and stature'. The [film] will follow Christ's journey to the east where he encounters other traditions, and discovers the principles that are the bedrock of all the world's great religions," said Drew Heriot, the film's director, whose credits include the cult hit The Secret. The film, which is due for release in 2009, sets out to be a fantasy action adventure account of Jesus's life with the three wise men as his mentors. Although the producers say the film will feature a "young and beautiful" princess, it is not clear whether Jesus is to have a love interest. Read the rest at UKGaurdian
So what was he doing during this time? My guess (which is all we can do, right?) is that Jesus was just living a normal life, going to school, working, hanging out with friends and meditating on his future work for the Father and His Kingdom. What's so awful about that? I guess that's just too boring for some, like the believers of The Aquarian Gospel...
As a matter of fact, a movie of the same name should be coming out of Hollywood soon. As the book supposes, it will present an action-packed vision of what Jesus was supposedly up to for those two decades he was 'missing' from the Holy Bible. Do you think people will get as worked up about it as they did with The Passion or even with The Golden Compass? I highly doubt it. Everyone wants to make Christianity appeasing to the masses. Why? Why can't the Word as we have it be good enough? Why must it please everyone? Believe it or not, GOD is not here to serve or please us, but rather we are here to serve/please Him.
The film's producers say the movie will be shot using actors and computer animation like 300, the retelling of the Battle of Thermopylae, and will follow the travels of Yeshua, believed to be the name for Jesus in Aramaic, from the Middle East to India. Casting for suitable Bollywood and Hollywood actors has begun.
This is startling, but a common held belief among many 'faiths', because I believe that this is perhaps one of the most successful lies Satan has put into man's heart and mind -- that hell and heaven don't really exist. That's a pretty good one. Jehovah Witnesses also teach that hell is not an actual place. That's what 'good' people like to believe and hear -- that they won't be held accountable by their Creator for the 'bad' things they've done. Read the rest of the Aquarian beliefs here.
Wikipedia, which isn't always 100% trustworthy (the editor decides what's true I suppose), also points out some of the Aquarian Church's beliefs, which includes the idea that Jesus was conceived by a human father.
In summary, the Aquarian Church sounds like just another cult, another great deception of Satan. I tell you, Lucifer is working hard. So when this movie comes, and if you happen to watch it, don't let it change your heart from your true Jesus.
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Thursday, January 3, 2008
Where In the Bible Is Mary Magdalene a Prostitute?
I was re-reading through the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John) recently and realized something for the first time when I came across the verses of St. John 8 (KJV):
2 Now early in the morning He came again into the temple, and all the people came to Him; and He sat down and taught them. 3 Then the scribes and Pharisees brought to Him a woman caught in adultery. And when they had set her in the midst, 4 they said to Him, “Teacher, this woman was caught in adultery, in the very act. 5 Now Moses, in the law, commanded us that such should be stoned. But what do You say?” 6 This they said, testing Him, that they might have something of which to accuse Him. But Jesus stooped down and wrote on the ground with His finger, as though He did not hear.
Because of years of listening to sloppy preaching and biased theories, I had always assumed that this unnamed woman caught in adultery was Mary Magdalene, one of Jesus' top (female) disciples.
I had also always been taught that Mary Magdalene was a prostitute...and had heard many teachings that this woman caught in adultery was actually a prostitute. Confusing? It should be, because most of it is a lie.
To get to the truth of it -- using the Holy Bible alone, as it is the only true Word of GOD that we have today -- I examined several key verses. It didn't take much time at all to discover the truth.
First off, Mary Magdalene is first mentioned in Matthew 27:56 "among whom were Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James and Joses,[a] and the mother of Zebedee’s sons"... which describes the disciples who were watching Jesus' crucifixion. So, this is Mary Magdalene's introduction -- a dedicated, loving disciple of the Christ.
We learn a little about M. M.'s history in Mark 16: 19 "Now when He rose early on the first day of the week, He appeared first to Mary Magdalene, out of whom He had cast seven demons." Two important things are revealed here. One, we learn that Jesus and M.M. met when the Messiah freed her from demonic possession. Lastly, the fact that M.M. was the first disciple to see the resurrected Jesus says a lot. Not even Jesus' mother Mary got to see him first... he appeared to one of his disciples...whom I can only infer from this text was a very important person to him. No, I'm not going the 'Da Vinci' code route by insinuating that there was some unrighteous intimate relationship between this disciple and the Son of GOD. I'm simply saying, just as Jesus favored Peter to help lead/create the Church, he may have first appeared in his resurrected state to M.M. for a reason.
So, to summarize where we are right now, Mary Magdalene had previously been possessed by demons; watched Jesus' crucifixion; and was the first to see him after his resurrection. No where has there been any indication that she was a prostitute or adulterer.
Before we continue, there is one more thing that I should mention. Mary was apparently from the town of Magdala, which is why she was called a Magdalene. However, there is some evidence that shows that even the name of the town was translated incorrectly. The Jewish Talmud (the books covering the law, etc. in the Old Testament) and other historical references indicate that the town was mostly likely called "Migdal" or "Magadan" (Greek manuscripts). Despite all of that, the town's name was ascribed to Mary just to let others know which Mary this was...since Mary was an extremely popular name during that time. As a matter of fact, it notes in the concordance of my Bible that there were seven persons named Mary in the New Testament, and it describes M.M. as 'A Galilean follower of Jesus.'
I would also like to note that the term 'prostitute' doesn't appear anywhere in the Holy Bible (KJV) except for in Lev. 19:29. 'Harlot' however is mentioned plenty of times, but nowhere in the Gospels do any of its usages make reference to or speak of M.M. or anyone in particular for that matter. It's simply mentioned as one would talk about a group of people, such as saying 'publicans' or 'tax collectors', you'd say 'harlots.'
Finally, this 'woman caught in adultery' was never given a name, nor do we know her town of origin. Jesus simply refused to condemn her and told her to sin no more. No mention of demons, Magdala, Mary or the like. This was just one of the many people in the Gospels that Jesus used to glorify His Father GOD.
So who was Mary of Magdala? -- She was a devout disciple of Jesus who helped support his ministry financially and I'm sure she did her part in helping to spread the Truth. She wasn't an adulterer. She wasn't a prostitute. She had been demon possessed before meeting Jesus, was healed, and took up her cross and followed him.
Where did this awful slander come from? Why would anyone want to purport such a lie and misconception? Is it just carelessness/ laziness that people continue to believe such a false teaching of Mary Magdalene? I don't know the answers to these questions, but considering Christian history, specifically in terms of the Catholic Church, I don't find it unlikely that these men who made the decisions of what books would enter the Bible, conducted the demonic Inquisitions, etc., would have an interest in discounting one of Jesus' top disciples -- a woman. After all, what were the other twelve's sin? Are we to believe that Peter, Thomas, Matthew, etc. were all blemish-free before Jesus? I think not.
And I guess I should note that I'm not so passionate about rectifying the image of M.M. because I think former prostitutes are deplorable creatures. Quite the contrary, because we are all sinners, and as far as I've read in the Bible, GOD is no respecter of persons when it comes to judging sinners. Sin is sin, and can all be forgiven...except for sins against the Holy Spirit of course.
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Cool Art Exhibit Uses Google Earth on Noah's Arc & Moses
There's a pretty cool art exhibit highlighted CreativeReview Blog in a post titled 'The Bible According to Google Earth'. The works are very interesting, so please take a look. Here's one of my favorites... can you guess what it depicts?
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Woman Reading Bible Aloud Booted From Public Bus
Have you heard about this Fort Worth, Tex., woman who was removed from a city bus after refusing to stop reading her Bible?
It's an interesting story, but in summary, I think the woman is wrong and should've just done as she was asked to do. So far, I haven't heard if any other passengers on the bus had anything to say in support of either the woman or the bus driver who made the demand.
A Fort Worth woman wants an apology from the city's mass transit system because of how she was treated Saturday while on her way to church. Christine Lutz claimed she was kicked off The T for reading the Bible aloud to her children.
Lutz said she was sitting in the back of the bus, but wasn't being disruptive. She claimed she was stunned when the bus driver interrupted her reading.
"She asked me to stop reading my Bible," Lutz told FOX 4. "I said, 'No, I'm reading the Bible, I'm teaching the kids, I'm going to continue.' And I continued."
Lutz said the next thing she knew, the bus had pulled over and she was being escorted into a supervisor's van, which then took her and her family to church.
Anyway, this woman says she wants an apology. What do you think? Should she get an apology...?
Read the rest at MyFox.
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Pat Robertson's Annual Questionable Prophecies
Without being mean, let me say that Pat Robertson gives me the creeps. There is just something off about that man every time I happen across his 700 Club on TV. I'm not kidding. And these annual 'prophecies' he makes...do I really need to say more on that? Please take a look at the story and note his comment about being afraid to reveal to0 much for being laughed at...that sounds like an obedient servant of the LORD, doesn't it?
Religious broadcaster Pat Robertson said Wednesday that 2008 will be a year of violence worldwide and a recession in the United States, followed by a major stock-market crash by 2010....
Praying about events in the coming year and sharing what he believes God has told him is an annual tradition for Robertson, founder of the Virginia Beach-based Christian Broadcasting Network.
...He also predicted that there will be a recession, oil will reach $150 a barrel and the U.S. dollar will continue to fall. He added that there will be a major stock-market crash in 2009 or 2010. (Read the rest at DailyPress.com)
Robertson's past predictions have included presidential politics; in 2004 he said God told him President Bush would be re-elected in a blowout. He declined Wednesday to say who will win the 2008 race, though, because "some old man on '60 Minutes' would make fun of me."
Prophesying is great -- when you are truly directed by GOD to do so. I can't say I believe 100% that the LORD GOD Almighty directed Pat Robertson to speak publicly about these events, much less if He actually spoke to Robertson.
And while we're at it, it seems Jamaicans make it an annual event to also publicly disclose prophecies from the LORD, and the media seems to treat these religious folks a lot gentler. All in all, the Jamaica Gleaner has published their 62 prophecies...that's right, 62:
It's that time of year again and the prophets have rolled out their predictions for 2008. So far, eight of them have thrown their hats in the ring. They are - Apostle Steve Lyson, Prophet Donovan Creary, Prophet Donovan Edwards, Prophetess Doris Hutchinson, Prophetess Marsha Creary, Prophetess Sophia Dawes, Minister Nadra Daly and Minister Carolyn Grant-Hamilton.
I'm completely skeptical... how about you? Is it OK for people of the faith to disclose prophecies in such a public manner?
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GOD's Amazing Hanydwork
Have you ever stopped to contemplate your own body -- how perfectly it has been made? Have you ever looked around you, at nature, and been amazed how well it all seems to work?
I came across this video today and although it's a bit old, I felt compelled to share.
Isn't it amazing how varied and beautiful all of His works are?
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Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Top 10 Most Embarrassing Ways to Die in the Holy Bible « El Santo//Rooktopia
Top 10 Most Embarrassing Ways to Die in the Holy Bible « El Santo//Rooktopia:
"The Bible chronicles some of the world’s most violent times. There were people getting mutilated, strangled, set on fire, defenestrated, and beheaded. But there were just some ways to die which were downright embarrassing. Getting killed by jawbone wielded by an Israelite superman named Samson … that ain’t so bad. Crushed by the engulfing waves of the Sea of Reeds? Kinda epic really. So which were the most embarrassing ways to die in the Bible?"
I came across this post a few weeks ago. It's pretty funny and it's actually correct as far as I can tell. If you're at all familiar with the Holy Bible, you know well enough that there are many, many passages that make you wonder why some things happened the way they did -- the slaughter of women and children every time a town was conquered by GOD's people, women treated as mere possessions, prophets told to marry harlots, being killed for accidentally touching the Ark of the Covenant while trying to keep it from falling...it goes on and on.
Anyway, here's my favorite...
7. - Mauled by bears for calling someone a “baldhead” (2 Kings 2:23-25). This is one of those examples that critics of Christianity love to point out. Elisha’s walking along, some “youths” (or teens as we would call them nowadays) call him a baldy, and God sends some bears to maul them. Why in the world would a just God do something as petty as that? Well, some context: 1.) This was the time of King Ahab and his descendants, and the prevailing religion was Baal worship. Anyone practicing Judaism, in fact, was considered the enemy of the state. Prophets, few that there were, had to hide out in the mountains. 2.) The Bible says there were at least 42 youths doing the taunting. There’s a good chance they were planning to do something a lot more to a known political fugitive. There’s another point: if I remember my Bible study correctly, the leader mentioned that the youths were mauled, not killed. If they were killed, the Bible would not hesitate to says so. I guess that might make this item exempt from this list … but I really can’t pass up on an “attacked by bears” bulletpoint, so there you go.
Read the rest at Rooktopia
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Top religion news stories of 2007 - Dayton Daily News
Top religion news stories of 2007: "Contributing Writer"
Religion finds its way into the media every day and these stories often have a way of shaping our culture and our lives. Here are just a few highlights from the top religion news of 2007:
James Cameron claims to have discovered the lost tomb of Jesus in an ossuary outside of Jerusalem. Experts respond to the award-winning director with a collective shrug as they wonder why no one told Cameron that the name "Jesus" was very common during biblical times.
It's an interesting list that incorporates religion in sports, politics, entertainment and other areas. My only surprise was that the author noted the deaths of Jerry Falwell and Ruth Graham, but neglected to mention the death of Tammy Faye Messner (aka Baker). I a little familiar with some of the foolishness that the Bakers' did, and I know that Ms. Messner eventually repented and it appears died in love with Jesus. Besides all that, though, she was a major figure in the religious world and I think her death should have been noted on the list.
Anyway, what do you make of the list? Anything missing or that just should not have been added?
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